"People don't change Melissa; not overnight!" It felt right from the moment he said it; only, I wasn't ready to accept it then...On deeper thought, nothing changes over night.

Everyone is talking of the new year. So much has happened over the past twelve months and now it's finally time to leave all of that behind and turn a fresh page. That said, are new years about an instant change? Does everything just fall into place from the moment the clock strikes twelve?

Many of us fool ourselves into believing in Cinderella magic only to realise the next day that life is still the same.

So what really makes a new year so new? It's the gratefulness that one feels towards God for being so merciful and gracious so as to bless one with another year, another opportunity to make things right, another chance to be everything one wants to be. It is every moment in the coming year that joins every other moment in the coming year to form so many such moments that make the coming year a new year. It is taking good memories from the year gone by and learning too, into the new year and embracing good times and hard times with the same courage seasoned with a smile that makes everything about the next three sixty odd days, new.

Thank You God for the year gone by. Thank You for each moment and experience. Thank You for the smile and for the tear. Thank You for the Happy New Year! 

What do we have, to offer You...for can human dignity ever compare to Divine Majesty?
The child says to his mother that, he would fashion for her, shoes out of his own skin
And the mother, calmly smiles saying that, his skin is also her gift to him!
Every element of us comes from You; even our non-existence, it comes from You.
Wasn't it You, who beheld our unformed substance, before we were conceived in our mother's womb?
So how do we create, even if we should, out of our non-existence, a worthy gift for You?
If we were to praise You with loud cymbals; if we were to blow a shofar to glorify Your name;
Then it would be Your gift to us...this Your gift to us - our privilege - to praise You sustains us - both body and soul.
If we were to sing to You, a love song, like King Solomon did; if we were to be a sweet voice in Your ears;
Then also, it would be Your gift to us...this Your gift to us - our privilege - to praise You sustains us - both body and soul.
And do You want our sacrifices? Didn't You find our incenses and animal sacrifices an abomination?
What You want is our heart - contrite and remorseful; And You alone can change our hearts of stone, into  hearts of flesh and blood.
So make haste and touch us; For You alone can make our sacrifices worthy of Yourself.

How many more chances will you give us; or are You giving Yourself chances
Because that is how much You love us?
You are right in comparing Your people to a whore;
Your people didn't stay loyal to You. Instead, they created bonds
With other gods. We blasphemed Your name with every act of infidelity;
You could have punished us and banished us to Hades;
Instead, You sought to reason with us. You assured us that You would make the crimson of our sins
As white as the snow. So great was Your love for us that You couldn't bear
The thought of loosing us to sin.
Like a winegrower prunes the branches and ensures that they remain in the wine;
So You guided us in Your love. You sent a part of Yourself - Your Son - the Messiah;
To restore Your children scattered all over the earth - in foreign lands
You sought to bring Your own to Yourself; But we paid no heed.
Then are You wrong in asking us, "What did I not do for you?"
No, You're act is justified; For it is not You who speaks, but Your pain.
There was nothing more You could have done; You did everything that a loving Father
Would do for His children. It was we who were blinded by sin and powered by the human spirit.
We didn't recognise You love for us and Your divine plan for our lives.
Make haste Father; For we are lost again and time is running out.
It is only You who can find another solution to save Your people;
If You don't save us, who will? Let the wisdom that labours by the side of Your throne
Guide us and teach us to accept Your spirit and pay heed to Your word.

There are moments when I doubt, that You even listen to what I tell You

For I feel like I may have spoken for an eternity, without witnessing any change. 

Though sometimes You take me by a surprise; when You grant me things that I don't remember wanting or asking for.

Yes, now I remember that prayer; the day I sat in front of you, speaking not a word.

Your Spirit it interceded for me, with sighs louder than words; And You, You read my heart

Now that I think of it, was it even a prayer; or was it a thought that just flicked through my mind?

I forgot all about it, over the years; or may be new desires buried this, my old desire;

But You bore it in mind and gave me my hearts desire, in Your time.  

Who can keep promises like You? So many words come out of our mouths and return unfulfilled;

But Your word is like silver purified seven times; it returns to You only when You're will is done.

You promised that You would give, even before I could ask; and You did what you promised, in Your time.

In doing so, You didn't let, mortal faith in You, down; and You raised us, in Your time.

Your psalmist and Your prophets said, that no one who has trusted in You has suffered ill fate;

So man can rest assured that he is in safe hands. Even if we should not receive what we ask for,

We can easily believe that something better is in store; though never giving up on intercession...

Asking to receive, seeking to find and knocking to open doors; for prayer has power...

Your willingness to listen to our prayer and our faith that You listen to every word that comes out of our mouth renders prayer powerful.

...senses numb, it's easier to feel
And I wish I never regain consciousness again...


It's a different feeling, brain paralysis
I feel you but I don't feel a thing
The world around me spins, lack of cognition
But the heart takes over...


There will be many, as I forge ahead
And yes I am sure of this
Waiting, brimming with expectation seems juvenile
But what comes across is irrelevant, what if...


Is there a gurantee that I'll follow you, may be not
So where is the problem I wonder
But some how there is a void
And I wish things were different


You promised, you'd tuck me in at night
And now my thoughts, they weave a cushion for me
May be I was never the one you walked beside
Feeling like a better man
May be you must walk beside whom you must walk beside
And so I won't pull you back lest you must stagger back again


But it is too early to choose another path, even if I had one at the moment
And so I choose to slow down, smell the roses
Await what I hope shall come my way
If it does, I'll know the wait was worth it
If it doesn't the wait would be worth it any way...


So crawl if you may wish, walk or run
But when you reach the lag end, I'll be waiting 
And if you don't see me, you'll see a red flag
Symbolic of each moment that I lived with those memories
And oh, it would have been easier living without you
Than it was living with your memories...

Simon of Cyrene, you helped my Savior carry His cross

Oh what a privilege you  enjoyed

So then how much more privileged am I

For my Savior, He helps me carry my cross...

The interim my Lord, doesn't seem to end

And now my patience is wearing

Make haste and grant me Your purpose for me

Just let me do what You sent me to do

What is it that You want me to do Lord?

I hesitate to ask You because I fear that I shall not hear Your reply

But now that I've asked You, please speak with me 

For I'm lost in thought, the folds on my brain are symbolic

Of a tortuous path that keeps me away from my goal

My goal which is You and Your purpose for me

The latter I shall receive only if I loose my self in You

Only if I loose my self in You shall I find myself

The bigger plans are not mine to see

But it would help Lord, if I could see the bigger picture

The bits and pieces that are visible to me

Are like a jigsaw that I struggle to assemble

And now my rationality has yielded

Now I fail to  see even the smaller frames

For so long I have held on to so many things 

For so long I have held myself together

But now Lord, I let go, for I can hold no longer

The soul is where is the body is, for who has been able to separate

Fragrance from a flower and innocence from a child

So if my body is in this world, then how can I not be of this world

It would be easier for me to be in you and of you

Or it would be easier for me to be in the world and of the world

But I cannot be in the world and of You

When I try to, I am blanched

Your love is warm and You pour this warmth on me

But before the warmth of Your love reaches my core

The world and its distractions they pull me away

The world is so cold and so distant

This icy coldness doesn't let Your love reach me

Hence I am blanched 

Worldly excellence doesn't hold meaning any longer

But I play devil's advocate, lest it is not the wisdom but the foolishness in me that may be speaking 

So does unwillingness to sow in the fields imply sinfulness

For work is worship and so if I refuse to find joy in my work 

Then I reject You my Lord

Am I right then and more so if I say that the work that I find no joy in is not my work

For my work as I understand  it, is Your purpose for me

So are you saying, that humbly doing what doesn't bring me satisfaction, is Your purpose for me

For Your purpose for me is obedience to Your will

And Your will for me is to be even more patient than I was all this while...

So I'll cement the empty spaces; But the cracks
In the wall of my heart, they'll simply remain...


We built us brick by brick, we built us stone by stone
But when 'twas time to cement the bond, you left us all alone.

As pure as the moon she, her life 
Revolved around him, her world
But an image of her, her shadow
She could cast on him, his heart 
Only with His light, light from the Son (the sun)...

I whisper my inner most thoughts to the wind 

The wind, it in turn whispers my secrets into your ears...

 

I try reaching out to you, but you've built a wall around you

My voice, so frail, it fails to nudge you back to life

For you are lost in your reverie, your pensive translucent I cannot see

I beckon to you for the privilege of a panoramic view of your thoughts

But you shun away my very call

So then how shall I come down to your nadir

Or is it that you are on a zenith that I shall never touch

In either case we are not standing on the same plane

So how shall we ever stand side by side

 

The only solace is the wind, my breath I exhale

And she carries it to you, and you breathe it in

So somewhere there is a connect, somewhere we meet

And I know when she has reached you with a part of me
Because when you breathe me in you nudge me back to life...

As helpless as can be, like nothing is in my power;

When I'm close to her I break her heart, I break her heart when I'm far away...

Out of no where, it drizzled

Rain drops on parched land

The wet mud blending with the water, 

Their unity creating a magical fragrance

Probably they were meant to complete each other

Complementary and complimentary, the mud and the water

So she walked in, yes she did

And I was refreshed

We created magic together, both she and I

Then suddenly, I remembered the rain, the last time it had showered upon me

She had started with a drizzle and ended in a storm

A storm that had blown away the sands from on the land

And had left my soul, a parched land, even more dry and empty, than I was before

That storm, it haunts me 

******

But the rain, she will shower upon me no matter how much I resist
And this time she will bring the sun shine

Bright and cheerful shall it be

Should the storm lurk around the corner

She, the rain, will pull over the land, that is now refreshed

A blanket of flowers

And she shall continue pouring droplets of water; Like diamonds

When the sun rays pierce thorough each droplet 

Bringing to the land, the light that was promised it

Promised it by the rain

The day that she was born in the skies above 
Only  to bring to life the land so dry...

Woman of few words, silence is her language

But she can touch you because she can talk with her eyes...

A smile so radiant, it lit up the world

Of those around her; She loved giving it away

To those around her; For she received it back

And received much more; The joy that emanates

From the center of the heart, it then swims through out

Bringing peace and love; And this in turn she would give away

All over again...

She promised she'd be there forever and a day

And she will keep her promise come what may

Even if she would have to leave 'tween the journey to home

She'd come back like an angel; And you would know when you sense her scent so sweet

The scent that wafted from behind your neck as she sat holding you tight when you'd meet

So you'll know she is around and you'll wish that you could touch her one last time

And feel her so that you could tell her how much you love her; Something you didn't do

When the bond you shared with her was in its prime...

Listen to what she has to say, you can listen with your eyes

While she talks with hers; She smiles with her eyes

When she wants to tell you; She wants you to know, just how much you mean

To her; There are many like her that you may have met

At least that is what she believes, but you know she is wrong

She also believes that there is just one like you in her universe

And there shall always be just one like you...

Unfinished ideas weaving in my mind

Like a half done web that is washed by the rain

The ideas don't manifest themselves in the real world

A mirage of sorts they remain

I try to touch them but in vain...

******

I didn't walk towards you to walk away from you

I'm standing where I always did and I shall always

It is you who chose to retreat, move back a step or two

The blue planet, it revolves around the hot ball of fire

We, on it, believe that the sun rises and falls

It's not the sun after all, but it's us on the go

It's not me after all, its you, you should know...

******

Unfinished bounds, I see them on my shelf

The characters, still vivid, they move in my mind

How it ends for them, I do not know, though I'd like to and so they remain

On my shelf; though how it began is now a puff of smoke

I refuse to go back and begin all over

But the lack of awareness of the end, it haunts me

And thus the fate of the bounds is decided, on my shelfs forever they shall be...

******

In the silence of the morning and the darkness of the day just begun

I sip my cup of cafeh, lost in thought

That is exactly how it'd look like to the spectator

Ironically, the only spectator around is the one that I chat with

And He knows, that lost I am not

He knows that I meet Him over a cuppa each morning

And yes, a lot does happen over cafeh...

******

Inspiration can't be forced, one has to wait for it to do one a favour

O come to me from above, come and blow upon me the wisdom of Him who formed you

For if I'm not breathed upon by you, the divinity, it doesn't flow out of me,

The divinity of art; And thus I remain restless and toss, 

And I turn until I am fatigued and can fight no more.

But when you come to me in your fullness

The words they just flow, the thoughts they just form, 

An ocean of turquoise water, drop by drop

A poetry filled with emotion, thought by thought...

******

I was sand on the shore, so soft and so weak

I built my dreams and they fell like sandcastles on the shore

Then I gathered myself, grain by grain

I evolved into rock, immovable and stable

Nothing could shake me, nothing could topple me

Until you came, the sea with her waves, you with new dreams

And you made me dream till it became a habit, the sea hit the rock till she moved it

And now I long to dream again; The rock, it longs to be hit by the waves again

The waves have a freshness and spontaneity that stability doesn't have

But the sea, she has retreated, but you have retreated

Oh, you're a habit that I just don't want to break...

******

It looked so real, I could almost touch it

So perfect it was that sometimes I doubted its very existence

For perfection, it doesn't manifest itself in reality

It's like the fog that one can see but never touch

I saw the fog, it was celestial and pure

But before I could try and touch it, it disappeared

And now there is no sun, there is no fog either

But the dew drops, in my eyes, are a sign of hope that good weather shall return...

A hand shake to the hand that rocks the cradle- Happy Woman's Day!

My sincere apologies to all Venusians but I can't really grasp the ballyhoo around 8th of March. It's international woman's day, a day dedicated to women around the world. I agree that it's a privilege, one that our beloved Martians don't enjoy but that's where it ends for me. 

******

The good old stone age is a witness to how wonderfully we transformed caves of stone into homes, full of love. Evolution had its way and women came to be the official nurturers and caretakers. We perform our task very dutifully even today. The catch though lies in how we have managed not only to excel at our job but to also pull off activities that come under the Martian domain. They were meant to be providers and protectors and verily they are. But there isn't the slightest doubt about how well women have worn both hats and worn them well. A daring Barkha Dutt, a strategic Indra Nooyi, an intelligent Chanda Kocchar, an ambitious Saina Nehwal  et al are classic examples to amply prove the above hypothesis.

We multi task, juggling pots and knives, 

We're responsible mothers and caring wives;

We neglect ourselves for we're busy nurturing you,

The more you deny it the more you know it's true.

******

We live in a patriarchal society. Many daughters wish they could change this hard fact. Especially those tiny ones who weren't, aren't and won't be lucky enough to vocally express just how much they wished things would be different. Female foeticide is a crime not just against women but humanity as a whole. Alarming sex ratios indicate a scope for imbalance thus rendering females a prospective endangered specie. We're  throwing balls at nature, play with her alright, but we need to remind ourselves that it is not  balls that we're volleying but a boomerang that will sooner than we expect hit us and hit us hard. 

Talking of the right balance, many organizations today aim at maintaining organizational diversity with respect to gender. But how many of them actually take the required steps to ensure the retention of female employees. Organizations in India offer women who work for them a paid maternity leave of only 12 weeks as opposed to the whooping 47 weeks offered to their Swedish counterparts. Owing to this  most women are forced to make a choice between the personal and the professional, in the bargain giving up on their careers. Working women are active contributors to our GDP (that stay at home mom's also are is a story for another day). An understanding towards their predicament and a provision of alternatives is thus essential in order to encourage them to continue working.

******

All of us dream. But it's different when I say, girls dream. It's different because little girls grow up very fast and as they grow up they dream of the perfect husband, the perfect house, the perfect parents in law, the perfect wedding and the perfect everything. Most women realize that there is no such thing as perfect only when they find themselves being burned down to ash. Dowry related deaths are common not just among the uneducated but also the literate. In a lot of cases women themselves are involved in driving another woman onto the pyre. Is it morally and logically correct that some self described superiors of society get to decide if a few pieces of green paper are more valuable than someone's life is?

******

Indian's greet one another with the word Namaste which means 'I salute the divinity in you'. Christians regard the human body to be the temple of God. Is this body, the sanctum sanctorum of the Almighty, viewed respectfully by all. The answer is a resounding 'No'. 

Womens' bodies are irreverently portrayed, thanks to commercialization. This is common place in the media industry. A few barbarians in society take this irreverence a step further with rape and other sexual crimes. A woman is a mother, a sister, a daughter, a wife, a friend and much more. Every time he rapes a woman he rapes his mother, his sister, his daughter, his wife, his friend and the sacredness of womanhood itself.

******

To every homemaker, to every bread winner, to every innocent unborn life, to every burned bride, to every woman stripped off her dignity;

Here's wishing you A very Happy Woman's Day!

Then the man said, 

"This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken."

Strolling with the Saviour

You walked on water, now walk with me on sand
side by side, so close together, now walk with me hand in hand...

I walk on the shore, listening to the sea sing its song to me
I hum back and a duet ensues;
The wind whispers sweet nothings to me
And so I know You're around;
The sunshine it caresses my face
And so I know You're around.

It's a solitary walk, all think it is,
What they don't see, I sense;
I can almost feel You walking by my side
I can hear You smiling beside me;
What else could explain the peace amidst the anxiety
Like the sea, waves lashing against rock, so much unrest
But yet it looks so calm and peaceful, because You are around.

Let's create footprints, You and I, on wet sand
Let's create a bond that no one can see
For the sea will come and wash the evidence of it- our love
Let's fall in love, just You and me.

Castles in the sand, they are weak and topple
But Your home in my heart is strong
Make it stronger each day, stronger than castles of clay
Lets build it brick by brick, together.

Seagulls flying back home, returning to their abode
I long to return to mine
So call me each day, into your loving arms
A pinch of your love a day keeps me fine.